Macaco Tamerice has lived in Damanhur for 25 years and is the representative of Damanhur in GEN, Rive, Phoenix and other organizations. Among the many things she deals with she has also been called to act as a facilitator in many of the international meetings of GEN, where many issues related to the new social models are dealt with.
We asked her, from her point of view, what aspects were put in place in Damanhur to effectively prevent and resolve conflicts.

The effectiveness of a Constitution

“One of the winning strategies with respect to conflict prevention in Damanhur is to have chosen the basis to converge on the points of the Constitution in which everyone recognizes themselves. It is not to be taken for granted that a human group is able to reach the level of accordance necessary to found a community that is able to last, to face the challenges and changes necessary to live together. Establishing a Constitution is the first advice we always give to all those who want to create a community, because it prevents the emergence of conflicts on the fundamental aspects that characterize the community choice.”

Everyone can be partly right!

“Another concept that makes the difference in living together is the awareness that nobody holds the absolute truth and that each one perceives reality through his own, very personal filter. To get out of the paradigm of reason and wrong and to enter a new way of thinking in which, instead of nurturing the conflict, the solutions that can work for both sides are sought together, is very important. In Damanhur we call the subjective vision “quasi real”, so everyone knows that they have only a part of the truth in their pockets. Under these conditions, no one can claim to be right!”

Rather than being right, it is important to know how to change oneself…

“The work of transforming one’s limits is at the root of life in Damanhur. There is an organism, which we call Tecnarcato, which takes care of keeping alive the attention to this important objective through personalized programs, aimed at tackling aspects of individual characters that can, potentially, create conflicts. Everyone is willing to change in principle, but being able to do so requires discipline and will. For this reason, those who wish to do so can draw up their own program, asking for help from others, to identify what to change themselves in order to file the tips that can generate conflicts in common life.”

Learning to communicate is an art

“In Damanhur we use some communication rules that allow us to create a common field of trust and to lower the threshold of conflicts:
if there is a problem with someone speaking directly to the interested party without triangulating, eg. avoiding criticism in their absence;
to avoid in every way to be arrogant, because nobody is superior to the others in any context and condition;
express what you feel without judging others, because the discomfort we can experience in some conflictual situations often has deep roots within us. To attribute the guilt of the discomfort outside of oneself does not help us to solve it. ”

There is more!

“Other points contributing to conflict resolution are group mediation. Bringing the conflict out of duality and accepting many different points of view that mirror what is happening between two people helps a lot to restore balance in everyone’s perception. In Damanhur it is possible to ask the help of a facilitator, or a trusted person chosen by both parties to guide the comparison towards the achievement of a shared solution.”
“The decision model to which we tend is called “acccordance”, ie everyone is committed to finding a solution and decision that will work, even if these do not fully meet individual expectations. Confidence in the collective choices and in the wisdom of the group means that even those who are not completely aligned with the decisions made, choose and share the direction taken.

In extreme cases…

“When you can not find an agreement using the tools listed above, you can appeal to the College of Justice, which is an organization formed by three people whom are elected by all the Damanhurians once a year, who perform the function of justice of the peace. When the Court of Justice is called upon to make a judgment, it collects information on the dispute and issues its opinion. All Damanhurians respect what was ultimately decided and issued by the CDG. ”

The journey in conflict resolution is fascinating and every human group can teach something useful in this regard.

If you also want to exchange your experience, it will be a pleasure to welcome you!