We often say phrases like “For me, sincerity is everything”, or “I always say things in a direct way” or “I don’t know how to pretend”. Have you ever said something different?
You probably have never heard anyone say “If I can, I pretend”, or “If I’am really not forced, I prefer to say what makes me more comfortable” or again “I do not care if people are sincere with me, the important thing is that they are kind ”, yet often people do not say exactly what they think, and prefer to adapt their thinking to the circumstances. It is not a question of deceit or cowardice: it is that we know very well that when someone tells you exactly what they think, and what they think is not good for you, it is very difficult to stay objective and be able to have a calm confrontation.

Beautiful and uncomfortable

Sincerity is a beautiful thing but it is often uncomfortable, because of the emotion that it unleashes inside of us. We really need to be prepared for it, in the same way in which the bread needs to rise before being cooked.

To be able to say something useful to someone else we must know how to bring our observations in a positive and constructive way. On the other hand, to accept an observation from another person, it is not enough that we intimately feel that the observation is correct, it is necessary that we feel that on the other person’s part there is respect and understanding.

Communication is an important aspect in spirituality. Falco Tarassaco used to say that a human being normally takes much more energy to defend himself from others than to get closer to them. He underlined the importance of developing the ability to communicate, because only by really communicating can people get in touch. Communicating does not simply mean talking or explaining things, it means entering into harmony with others and sharing ideas.

A fundamental goal!

To do this, we must first desire it, while most of the time what we want is to be right.
Sincerity, by itself, is not enough to achieve an authentic communication. It is necessary to know how to offer it, in a way that does not only serve us because in this way we have freed our conscience, but that it also serves the listener. It is important to get there, step by step, preparing the ground, because ourselves and others are not always ready. However, sincerity is an important and fundamental objective!

Find the best way to do it, asking yourself which words and gestures will help your friends accept your sincerity, and do it. You’ll probably feel better and your friend will too.

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