Being myself has always been complicated, even since I was a child. One day I felt romantic and feminine, another I detested anything feminine and threw away everything girly that I had in my closet (not that being a woman means wearing pink clothes, but when I was seven years old I was firmly convinced). On the one hand I detested violence and on the other hand I was constantly fighting with the bullies, almost always males. In adolescence, the confusion increased, I became more infatuated and at the same time I changed my mind often, usually with embarrassing consequences. In short, it was a real mess.

When I arrived in Damanhur, the creative discipline that characterizes community life was good for my soul. It was a stimulating atmosphere and at the same time by ordering all the parts of me, I was able to take a breath of fresh air. I was grateful for the feeling of peace that I was finally living, but the touch of grace came when Falco Tarassaco spoke to us for the first time about the Personality Theory:

“Imagine having within you a relatively small community, made up of individuals extremely different from each other, everyone would like to be the director and be at the helm of the ship to impose their course, but it is difficult for these parties to be in command long enough to give a sense of continuity to our being.
It can then happen to feel divided from one extreme to the other, unless one of the personalities present within us takes a dominant role with respect to the others and imposes with determination to drive ourselves. If this happens the problems can become others. In this case it is easy, for example, to feel frustrated because you can not express some parts of yourself that remain suffocated because of the dominant presence of the same personality, which tends to impose its presence always, leaving no room for any other voice.
It may happen, for example, that a person with a distinctly dominant and arrogant character may, under certain circumstances, suddenly burst into tears, complaining that they are not sufficiently considered, appreciated and even loved. The person is neither crazy nor have they suddenly become schizophrenic, but simply their childlike personality, the one that lives silently inside, has finally managed to emerge and since they never find the space to express their needs, they demand their need to receive love and attention, as all children do… “

The idea of ​​not being just an indistinct “I” full of contradictions, but a set of complex personalities as real individuals, each with their own passions and idiosyncrasies, finally explained why I had always felt split between opposites, often irreconcilable! Bringing attention to what I felt stirring inside of me I realized that I had distinct characteristics that emerged in different moments and contexts, and that the situation became difficult when they presented themselves casually, without a conductor who made them intervene on the subject.

The course of Inner Personalities the subsequent work to be able to identify my personalities, to open a dialogue and get in touch with each of them, was one of the most powerful to transform myself and to free myself from the many hardships accumulated over the years.

For example in the past I had experienced devastating jealousy, but once I realized that only one of my personalities was jealous and that it was enough to give it the opportunity to express itself in other contexts, without prejudice to those related to affected relationships, I managed to free myself from the bite of jealousy that had always afflicted me.
Through the technique of listening and dialogue with each of my parts, learned in the course, I modified habits and repetitive behavioral patterns, and established a new intimate balance.

A new me was born, with a more mature personality that guides my life today with much more humor and intelligence! Sort of a positive leader at the service of all the members of my internal community: listening to them, enhancing them and in turn asking respect for the order of appearance on the scene, so that everyone can express their best in the appropriate context, without invading the field of others.

If you ask me if it always works I can say that yes, it works every time I pay attention and I open this inner dialogue, while it does not work when I let myself be overwhelmed by laziness and habit, and I do not use the power inside me!

So the lesson to remember to live more harmoniously is: do not let yourself go, ever, to laziness, and renew the commitment every day to conciously guide our lives!